I, um ...urgh! caugh ...I used to be a teenager a long time ago, and I was a prick. And my buddies and I made this fake sponsor form for a non-existent youth football team, and went door to door collecting 'donations'.
[Any enquiry, please contact Mr D. Donald]
Man! We were rakin' in £15, £20 a day! We were fuckin' ROLLING in strawberry chews and soapbar!
One day it was my turn. I knocked a random door while my crew hung around the corner, a lady answered, looked dishevelled and asked me to wait. Then she came back and gave me £4.
"That's too much!" I said. "It's OK. Just take it." she said, and she closed the door without signing the fake form.
Yes! Dumb bitch! And we all got drunk under an underpass.
But I thought about that the other day for the first time in years, and it hit me. That lady wasn't fooled by the goddamn reuxe! What happened was, she saw a scruffy kid nervously begging for money at night, and she gave him £4. That's all.
... Dumb bitch.