Birds and the Bees By Luke Simmons

I don't have any kids right now but I do enjoy other people's kids. However. I prefer to return them to their rightful owners when they become physically or emotionally painful.

Last week, I was playing a local support role for a large group of Australian supporters who came to Brazil to watch the three World Cup group matches and I had an awkward encounter with a 12 year old boy.

He had a cheeky grin on his face and told me that he'd just learned how to say, "shit" in Portuguese. I then prompted him by asking, "Well tell me then!" and he responded proudly with, "Porra".

Even though he was pretty much spot on, I find this expression to be a real paradox because it directly translates to "sperm". Don't you think it's strange that you have Brazilian men yelling this word at each other when they're ready to explode with anger? It would never work in English....

Anyway, I decided to enlighten him somewhat and I said, "Do you know that porra means sperm?" He looked at me kinda puzzled and asked, "What's sperm?" "Oh shit", I thought. Looking over to his Dad, I nervously suggested that he ask his Dad what this was and rapidly got the hell out of there.

in São Paulo, Brazil


I believe that life is a (relatively) short ride and that it's crucial to squeeze as many good times out of it as possible. I love travelling, music, reading, writing, all kinds o' sport, & my wife!

See Luke's profile.

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