Don't worry Doc... I don't camp By Ron Hailes

The day had arrived "Relay for Life 2015" mid way through setting up a massive storm arrived, but it seemed to be avoiding us. All of a sudden it turned and the tent, electrical equipment, tables, banners all took off. There was no choice, I had to chase it in pouring rain. I got drenched, totally stressed, lost my breath but I didn't drop dead. Winning!

2 Weeks Earlier, at the Doctor.

Doc: Well Ron that was close, you had an 80 % blockage in the main artery to your brain. Great that we got it in time, and that stent I put in fixed it.

Me: But other than slight pains everything seemed fine.

Doc: Well you don't seem to lead a stressful life, so it would have been OK for a while and then if something happened, like (his words) you know, you get caught in a storm while camping and your tent blows away. If you chased it you probably would have dropped dead, but you don't seem like a camping kind of guy.

Me: Well Doc the chances of me chasing a tent in a storm are a million to one. More likely to get hit by a UFO.

6 Weeks Earlier

John Flynn Hospital having an angiogram whilst awake.

Doc: well here is the problem, 80% blockage in your LAD

Me: So what's that mean?

Doc: Well in a stressful situation you would probably have a heart attack.

Me: Well that never going to be a problem Doc, I am so laid back, it's a bit like "Weekend at Bernie's"

Doc: Is that a fishing place you go to?

Me: No, a movie

Doc: OK

Lesson learned don't try and be funny in an operating theatre

8 Weeks Earlier

Doc: Well the test show about a 50% blockage, but they are really inaccurate

Me: Great!

Doc: No its usually much worse when we get in there.

Me: Oh Shit

10 weeks Earlier

That's a weird pain I get then I walk up those stairs and, so puffed, must be overeating. Bloody indigestion!


in Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia

 697

What Ron looks like.

I am a sometimes writer, stand up comic and MC - these are my passions but In the real world I travel throughout SE Asia training sales and management staff in the Auto Industry

See Ron's profile.

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