Moving House By Rohan Doherty

The family and I decided it was time for a "tree change", sell up and get out of town to the fresh air of the country.

That decision was easy, this was the first time however I had made a significant move now that I had kids, I'd moved around and travelled a bit when I was young and single but really all that was vital then was to make sure my lucky undies were packed or I would be left alone late at nights jostling for position in random souvlaki bars rather than snugged up in the back of a cab with my choice, well maybe not my choice you understand of the ladies.

Anyway we went through an arduous process, farm or house, schools, climate, jobs it took a year for us to settle on Ballarat , the kids and i being red heads , the sun our natural enemy, it made sense that the cooler climate would draw, that done we were down to specifics.

Like all responsible parents we went for school tours, stayed nights in local hotels to check the town at night, werewolves are a vastly underestimated phenomenon in my opinion, we were happy with the quiet country town we had chosen it was the type of place no one came to unless they were dying to hiding from something , hiding from something I thought , I'd better do one last check and so I did..

I called into the local country cop shop( police station) to be met by the mature, weather beaten head of the local law, the senior sergeant, yes mate he says as his two palms hit the front desk, his body leaning somewhat intimidating in toward me.

Immediately unnerved , I began to spit out my request, well you see i said , my family and I are looking to move into the area and well it occurred to me that , well, I know you can't legally tell me or give me specifics but could you perhaps just wink at me , this is the address I am looking at , my hand pushing a map forward with an address marked on it toward him, if there are any paedophiles in the area , the cop looks at me then the map then back at me and holds his silence for like 30 seconds before saying , nope you have the whole area to yourself!

30 more seconds of silence go by until this wily old cop smiles and winks at me, nice one senior sergeant you got me there!


in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia

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