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"Show Me The Poop!" By Daniel Nest

As parents, we often do things purely on autopilot.

Our kids ask us for something, and we act. Only later, in hindsight, does it dawn upon us just how crazy some of this stuff is and how much crap we deal with.

Literally.

Case in point:

The other day, my son Nathan went to the toilet. When he was done, he called for me to help wipe his butt.

I obliged.

As I was wiping, I took a peek into the toilet.

"Wow, that's a lot of poop!" I exclaimed, like an idiot.

Now, let's stop for a moment to enjoy the mindset of someone yelling excitedly about the amount of excrement coming out of another human being. That's what parenting does to you.

But we're not done yet.

Immediately after my exclamation, Nathan says, "But don't flush it, daddy! I also want to see!"

Problem: By that point, I'd have already thrown the toilet paper in, so that it fully covered everything Nathan wanted to appreciate about his efforts.

Solution: Without a second thought, I casually reached for the toilet brush, thrust it into the toilet, and used it to gently move the toilet paper to the side to give Nathan unimpeded visual access to his accomplishments.

No son of mine will have to suffer the injustice of being unable to see his own poop when he wants to!


in Copenhagen, Denmark

 75

A Ukrainian guy who lives in Denmark and runs an English humour blog: Nest-Expressed.com.

I also freelance. You can find my work on Cracked.com, Listverse.com, TopTenz.net and other places online.

See Daniel's profile.

Daniel's website.

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