The Kyle Joint By Christopher Jordan

Once upon a time, I was drinking in the woods near my mums place, and this kid Kyle was with us. Kyle was (and probably still is) a bit of a maniac.

That night, drunk and high, he decided to climb a tree, which he quickly fell out of and impaled his arm on a protruding, splintered branch. Tree stab!

It was deep, but Kyle just kept drinking with us around the burning wheely-bin we'd stolen outta someone's garden.

2 or 3 days later, we're all sitting in my mum's livingroom smoking weed while she's at work, and Kyle has this huge brownish, orangy blister on his arm. And he's playing with it. You could see it move like infected jelly. All wibbily-wobbily. Kev sat beside him rolling a spliff.

When Kev had finished the spliff, he sat it on the table, while Kyle fingered his bubbling infection aaaannnd......


His disgusting blister popped and ejaculated a thick stream of shit-coloured gunk right across the room, glazing the joint with a wide line of goop just less than half way up from the filter.

We yelled and discussed what to do about the joint. Re-roll it?? "...No. Just smoke it down to where the gunk is", they decided.

They smoked til it burned down to where the brown load was soaked into the paper and put the rest in the ashtray. I wouldn't touch it.

A few hours later they left, and completely forgetting about the whole thing I found the joint in the ashtray and smoked the whole thing, puss and all.

in Craigshill, Livingston, United Kingdom


BE WARNED! My views and opinions are not for everyone. You should avoid reading anything I write if you respect religion, tolerance, sobriety or general human decency.

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