I don't always get to stay in hotels. Hostels & sofa's maybe, but hotels are expensive man! But a month ago I was at a fancy hotel with my wee brother, and we USED that motherfucker! Got drunk in a jacuzzi, borrowed all the board games, went swimming... and my brother suggested we have a race up and down the pool, and I fuckin' beat him. Then we played scrabble, and I fuckin' beat him again, twice.
The next day he was just mad! Mad as fuck!
He stormed around for hours moaning about everything, which kinda kills the luxury hotel 'vibe', until I asked, "Dude! What the fuck's up? How are ya so pissed off?"
And I could see it, the stinging pain in his brain as he tried to figure out how it happened.
"How the fuck did you beat me at swimming!?!? And Scrabble?! I train all the time! Rock climbing! Riding my bike! I'm gonna be a scientist in a month! But YOU! You fat fuck! All you do is lay around ordering food and getting high! Drinking everyday and being a fuckin' useless asshole! The only exercise you get is jerking off three times a day and rolling joints you piece of shit! How could you beat me you lazy, gormless, absolute failure of a life with nothing....." (I'll be honest, he didn't say any of this.)
But I thought the explination was obvious. "Ah, come on man. I'm your big brother! And I'll aallllways have a 4 year headstart."