Sh*t-Faced By Christopher Jordan

If you thought kids were gross before, wait til you finish reading this!

When I was 10, I went out to play at a park with my friend, Jamie Frensham. We weren't high on crack. We were just having fun with this long, green wire we found. Jamie walked around swinging the green wire around his head like a lasso, until we found something that could improve the fun! Can you guess what it was??? Here's a hint. It came out of a dogs asshole.

Jamie dipped the tip of the wire into the dog shit until there was a big chunk stuck to the end and started swinging it around his head again.

I said, "Jamie, that's gonna hit me!" He said, "No it won't." I said, "It is man!" He said, "Nah man, it won't."

It did. I got an eye socket full of dog shit, and while he just about pissed his pants laughing, I ran down to the swan pond to wash out my eye in the slimy water.

The sound of whirring wire still haunts me.

in Livingston, United Kingdom


BE WARNED! My views and opinions are not for everyone. You should avoid reading anything I write if you respect religion, tolerance, sobriety or general human decency.

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