Commuting By Chris Begg

When one works, or needs to go somewhere, a form a transportation is generally required. Normally, if the destination is beyond walking distance, I would take my car and drive to said destination. However, I have recently taken a job in Brisbane, and the cost of petrol and parking would cost me more than a ticket to a Kanye West vomit session. So, I opted for the train.

Trains are an interesting form of public transport. I'm not talking about the history of the railway, or the amazing amount of track that has been laid to allow these giant steel phalluses to cart herds of plebs around. I'm talking about the people you see on the train.

I'm on the train now as I write this and in my general vicinity there are, indeed, some interesting looking people. Now, I'm not one to judge people based on their looks. I'm not exactly Brad Pitt. I'm close, but not there yet. This may have been evident yesterday when an elderly gentleman wouldn't stop looking at me on my morning commute.

It made for an uncomfortable journey. I was unsure if he disapproved of my Led Zeppelin shirt, my rugged 12 year old with a beard looks, or the fact that I have absolutely no tattoos. But then it occurred to me.... Maybe he didn't disapprove of me. Maybe he wanted to make out with me. So I started making flirty eyes and kissing motions towards him. I could tell he was interested because he left the train at the next stop.

in Gold Coast, Australia


Comedian, Musician, Writer, Animator, and part time human being. Hobbies include tickle fights, playing guitar, cabbage, and high tea parties on the Maharashtra river.

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