“There’s two guys beating up a woman!” By Brad Oakes

Once when I was about 20 years old, I was in a dark nightclub with a friend who was a pretty hard-nut kind of guy. On arrival I went straight to the bar to order drinks and there I was bumped by a 'woman' who was about 6’ 8” tall. The giant apologized and I replied in a witty way, “That’s alright mate!” (I had deduced that it wasn’t a woman but rather it was a man dressed as a gal.) The 'lady' immediately took offence and punched down on the bridge of my nose causing me to fall straight to the floor. Upon seeing this my mate Thommo remonstrated with the what we now know was a 'drag' and punched the person.

Unfortunately just as this happened some other girl shrieked, “There’s two guys beating up a woman!”

…and the entire place proceeded to kick the shit out of us!

Later when recounting the story to other friends Thommo made sure to tell them that the funniest bit (What?!) for him was hearing me occasionally scream, “It’s not a man – it’s a chick!”


in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

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Brad is well experienced on the Stand-Up circuit around Australia. He has also toured NZ and the UK. He is a prolific writer and one of Melbourne's most in demand MC's as well as a headliner.

See Brad's profile.

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