There's a Monster Inside All of Us By Andy Thompson

My family moved around a lot when I was a kid so I was often forced into making friends quickly. I became a bit of a target when I moved to New Mexico. Being a brash, pale Australian kid stands out in that environment. Soon enough, some tough kids started picking on me after school. The bullying was relentless and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t fight and even if I could, I was outnumbered. Snitching meant I’d get hurt even more. One afternoon 3 of them cornered me as I was walking home. After some jostling, they punched me in the stomach and a switch flipped inside me. I lost my mind and started screaming at them. Like, full-on-what-the-fuck-are-you-looking-at meth-junkie crazy. Even in my blood-rage, I knew I couldn't fight so I ripped my shirt off, threw it on the ground and ran in a tight circles while screaming as loudly as I could in the Aussiest accent I could muster.

I'LL FUCKEN EAT YOUR FUCKEN FACE, YOU FUCKEN PACK OF GALAHS! FAIR DINKUM!!

I threw a couple of bins vaguely in their direction and started snarling and growling at the one closest to me. "YOU'RE FIRST, YOU FUCKEN TWAT!" I screamed and they looked at each other and ran off. I stood there shaking, possibly from adrenaline but most likely because it was November in New Mexico and I was half naked. That was the day I learned that you don't have to throw a punch to win a fight. You just have to look like, if given the chance, you'll eat an ear or nose if it pops into your field of vision.


in Farmington, NM, United States

 548

What Andy looks like.

I tell jokes for cash, manly hugs and free drinks. I’ll tell you which way the water flows for free. Comedian, engineer, writer and husky man-about-town.

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