Just a Trim and Some Psychotherapy Please. By Andy Thompson

Trying to be spendthrift is something that comes with being a parent. Spending money on my kids means I can’t buy fancy things for myself. With this in mind, we took our son to get a haircut a few weeks ago. Rather than go to an upscale salon where orange women with monstrous talon-like fingernails would charge us $40 for a bit off the back and sides, we took him to a budget hairdresser.

Upon entering the salon, which was called possibly Super Happy Fun Time Go Hair Stylists, we noticed that the décor was similar to that seen in a storage shed used for dog grooming. Well, that is, apart from the garish Anime posters and televisions showing some Karaoke film clips and a weird Chinese version of Tom and Jerry. We asked a tall lady wearing a surgical mask for a haircut and she grunted and pointed at a vending machine. I inserted a $10 note and received a ticket. We sat my son down and the masked lady charged at him with a comb, a spray bottle and a sharp pair of scissors. Needless to say he freaked out a bit. She then tried to calm him down by doing some sort of song and dance (muffled by her surgical mask) while holding the scissors above her head. This made me freak out a bit.

Still, she got the job done quickly and did not once speak to us. Unfortunately, my eldest son was a bit traumatised and is now having nightmares about the crazy dancing lady with the white face mask coming to cut his nose off. We'll probably go back there.

I don’t like drinking cask wine.


in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

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What Andy looks like.

I tell jokes for cash, manly hugs and free drinks. I’ll tell you which way the water flows for free. Comedian, engineer, writer and husky man-about-town.

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