Relationships stories

Replacing Sex With a Stiff One

I once had a woman tell me that since her divorce she’d replaced sex with booze, which meant she was now getting trashed once a year... on his birthday. But if she’d replaced drinking with sex instead, she’d be a whore.

Hmm, I see.

So basically, being single was good for both your liver & your twat.

Jennifer Burke


Nine Months of Rehab

So sometimes I'll go to the chemist & pick myself up a pregnancy test just so people think I have a sex life, or maybe the morning after pill... but not at the same time #awkward

I wouldn’t mind having kids though, I love them; I believe they can make you a better person.

Jennifer Burke


The Personality Smear

It should be compulsory to regularly test for personality abnormalities; this might help to solve the riddle of the arctic weather conditions that have plagued my nether regions for centuries (or thereabouts).

When I first received the 2 yearly reminder I made a joke at one of my gigs saying, "N

Jennifer Burke


Worst first date

When I was around 14, I was feeling happy with myself having snared a date with a pretty girl I'd met. She asked whether I'd like to ride horses with her on the coming weekend, and I agreed without hesitation.

On the Saturday morning, I arrived at the agreed spot on time and noticed that all of her cliquey mates were joining in too. Okay.

Luke Simmons


3 Guys and a Girl

I hear a lot of people when they talk about marriage, say "it's great, I married my best friend". That's great for them, what about me? My best mates already married.

I'm at an age where all my friends are getting married and having kids. My girlfriend and I aren't at that stage though.

Evan Hocking


Jennifer who showed me no challenge is out of reach - Seven People That Changed My Life 6

I 'met' Jennifer on 4 Jan 1997 while waiting in an office to see if anyone was using it while its normal resident was on leave. When she arrived I knew it was in use, so I went off and found someplace else to work.

It was day one of a new consulting assignment and shortly after starting I was a

Bill Jarrard