Chris Begg Subscribe Chris Begg's Atom Feed

Website
http://www.chrisbegg.com
Location
Gold Coast, Australia
Bio

Comedian, Musician, Writer, Animator, and part time human being. Hobbies include tickle fights, playing guitar, cabbage, and high tea parties on the Maharashtra river.

Joined
February 28, 2013
Number of stories
8
Overall rating
Total story views
12,356
Subscribers
3
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What Chris Begg looks like.

The Tale of the Black Cab and Princess Diana

Many years ago, let's say 14, I visited Paris, France. Besides seeing the regular sights like the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, and scantily clad Frenchmen in berets, we saw many other things.

Being foreigners, our main form of transportation was taxis.

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I Am The Sexiest Man Alive (well, almost)

Earlier this year I was nominated as one of the top twenty sexiest men on the Gold Coast. Which is weird considering I'm not very sexy, and I'm definitely not a top of anything. I stood out in the competition. I was the only one wearing a shirt, and I'm the fattest person ever to be nominated for the title.

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Incubator For Douchebags

A while ago I had to take my son to a kids party. It wasn't a birthday party, just a dance party. The parents that threw the party had converted their lounge room in to a makeshift dance floor, complete with lights and a disco ball. To top it off, the music was all played from YouTube. This was a high class affair.

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My Magical Muffin Adventure - Part 2

I was on my way home, unaware that the effects of the pot muffin had started to take hold. It's one thing to get high on your own accord, if that's your thing, but it's something else entirely when you've unknowingly ingested it.

As the tingling feeling swept through my body, an overwhelming feeling of paranoia took over.

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My Magical Muffin Adventure - Part 1

It may be hard to believe, but when I was a teenager I was quite the ladies man. Up until the age 17 I was rarely without a girlfriend, even though I couldn't quite grow a decent looking beard.

When I was 15 I had a girlfriend called Fiona. In high school terms this was a long term relationshi

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Commuting

When one works, or needs to go somewhere, a form a transportation is generally required. Normally, if the destination is beyond walking distance, I would take my car and drive to said destination. However, I have recently taken a job in Brisbane, and the cost of petrol and parking would cost me more than a ticket to a Kanye West vomit session.

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Smoking Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

The summer of 1998 was a glorious time. I was 17, playing bass in a band called Cradleskin, had no girlfriend (not by choice), and life was care free.

Cradleskin had been booked to appear at a gig at a fantastically depressing venue called The Buffalo Bistro in our home town of Queanbeyan, NSW.

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The Hospital Visit

In life, there are certain events that make you who you are. Your first kiss, your first pair of boobs, or your first rodent pet all contribute to making you the happy go lucky human that you are today.

There are certain events though that can contribute to you being less than a happy chappy.

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